La Charcuterie Delicatessen

If the name La Charcuterie seems familiar, you probably remember when it was located on the corner of Kingsway and Boundary in Vancouver. Yes, you'll find the same "Sandwich Nazi" who madly made monster sandwiches at the old location. It's now in the oddest of places, out in an industrial area in Port Kells. Once you enter the place, you are at the whim of the guy who runs the place. You may or may not get what you ask for and you may be subjected to crude insults. Warning - don't bring your kids here. What you'll find are some of the largest and best sandwiches you'll ever find anywhere. I'm serious. I've been to NYC and although they have big sandwiches there, you won't find one for $7.00CAD. In addition to being big, the meats and cheese are freshly sliced when you order, guaranteeing freshness and flavour.

Today, Miss Y, Kc and I made our way out to 96th near 192nd to grab some sandwiches. Yes, we were pretty dedicated and determined to suffer abuse. At the front door, there is a disclaimer indicating "This deli contains Coarse Language and Nudity!" Fortunately I only experienced coarse language, I'm not sure if I wanted any nudity with my sandwich. I really thought his spelling of foccacia as "fuccacia" was hilarious and also his description of the sourdough bread as "long and hard but soft inside". There was a lineup when we got in and a lineup when we left. It appears that these sandwiches are a draw no matter where the place is located. Salam (who reminds me of Borat) hurls insults and jokes a mile a minute. He noticed how Miss Y was so quiet. Quoting Salam: "She must be a screamer!" Suffice to say, that got the whole place laughing. He kept on indicating how much he liked "Brokeback Mountain" and that he watched it 4 times. Every time, he never finished watching the movie since he couldn't "contain" himself. Also, he proclaimed that cheese helps improve a man's sperm count. He insisted on giving me extra cheese for my sandwich. I really do not need more sperm (I have all the kids I need), thank you very much. If you're into Seinfeld humour, this is your type of venue.

Jokes aside, Salam is really a nice guy, he even gave the Miss Y and Kc some chocolate sticks to go with their sandwiches. His schtick is very much like the Soup Nazi and it's entertaining. The sandwiches are very, very good with enough meat to make 6 equivalent Subway sandwiches. I couldn't even finish half of one. Despite having a menu with several different sandwiches, in the end we all got the "What Salam wants to put on your buns". And yes, he really did put whatever he wanted. Make sure you bring cash, he doesn't take plastic. Also, do not forget to feed the tip jar, he needs enough money to get laser hair removal.

The Good:
- Fantastic sandwiches - freshly sliced meats and cheese
- Very large
- Salam is a riot
- Incredible value at $7.00

The Bad:
- If you are a bit sensitive, you might not want to come here
- In the middle of nowhere

Business Hours:
10:00am - 4:00pm (Mon - Sat)