Sherman's Food Adventures: La Charcuterie Delicatessen

La Charcuterie Delicatessen

If the name La Charcuterie seems familiar, you probably remember when it was located on the corner of Kingsway and Boundary in Vancouver. Yes, you'll find the same "Sandwich Nazi" who madly made monster sandwiches at the old location. It's now in the oddest of places, out in an industrial area in Port Kells. Once you enter the place, you are at the whim of the guy who runs the place. You may or may not get what you ask for and you may be subjected to crude insults. Warning - don't bring your kids here. What you'll find are some of the largest and best sandwiches you'll ever find anywhere. I'm serious. I've been to NYC and although they have big sandwiches there, you won't find one for $7.00CAD. In addition to being big, the meats and cheese are freshly sliced when you order, guaranteeing freshness and flavour.

Today, Miss Y, Kc and I made our way out to 96th near 192nd to grab some sandwiches. Yes, we were pretty dedicated and determined to suffer abuse. At the front door, there is a disclaimer indicating "This deli contains Coarse Language and Nudity!" Fortunately I only experienced coarse language, I'm not sure if I wanted any nudity with my sandwich. I really thought his spelling of foccacia as "fuccacia" was hilarious and also his description of the sourdough bread as "long and hard but soft inside". There was a lineup when we got in and a lineup when we left. It appears that these sandwiches are a draw no matter where the place is located. Salam (who reminds me of Borat) hurls insults and jokes a mile a minute. He noticed how Miss Y was so quiet. Quoting Salam: "She must be a screamer!" Suffice to say, that got the whole place laughing. He kept on indicating how much he liked "Brokeback Mountain" and that he watched it 4 times. Every time, he never finished watching the movie since he couldn't "contain" himself. Also, he proclaimed that cheese helps improve a man's sperm count. He insisted on giving me extra cheese for my sandwich. I really do not need more sperm (I have all the kids I need), thank you very much. If you're into Seinfeld humour, this is your type of venue.

Jokes aside, Salam is really a nice guy, he even gave the Miss Y and Kc some chocolate sticks to go with their sandwiches. His schtick is very much like the Soup Nazi and it's entertaining. The sandwiches are very, very good with enough meat to make 6 equivalent Subway sandwiches. I couldn't even finish half of one. Despite having a menu with several different sandwiches, in the end we all got the "What Salam wants to put on your buns". And yes, he really did put whatever he wanted. Make sure you bring cash, he doesn't take plastic. Also, do not forget to feed the tip jar, he needs enough money to get laser hair removal.

The Good:
- Fantastic sandwiches - freshly sliced meats and cheese
- Very large
- Salam is a riot
- Incredible value at $7.00

The Bad:
- If you are a bit sensitive, you might not want to come here
- In the middle of nowhere

Business Hours:
10:00am - 4:00pm (Mon - Sat)

La Charcuterie Delicatessen on Urbanspoon


marymac said...

Hey Sherman, glad you didn't waste any time getting out to Port Kells and that enormous sandwich! Once you get past Salam and his "schtick", the sandwiches ARE amazing, no?

Sherman said...

You betcha, probably the best sandwich I've ever had...

KimHo said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was hilarious!

Man, I think I won't mind having to drive all the way down there. Will try to do it one of these Saturdays, hehehehe.

Sherman said...

Yes Kim, it's worth the drive, you'll have enough meat for other sandwiches for the whole week. Plus it's quite entertaining.

Mel @ said...

Drool! But a bit far from D/T :(

gigi said...

that's funny...I used to go quite frequently when it was at Kingsway & Boundary but I never got reamed out! Maybe I was just lucky :p

Anonymous said...

Great subs that are stacked with so much meat and cheese that it really is difficult to eat this one gracefully .... but worth it. Ingredients are good (this ain't 7-11) and value is excellent.
I also like that he has a small grocery/deli in the back with good european items that you don't find at the grocery store. Thumbs up!

Anonymous said...

This guy is a prick. Ask him to make a pizza sub for you (or for my kids, is what I asked); he called me low class and kicked me out. He would not let me order off the menu either, saying that you get whatever he decides to make you. The verbal abuse and insults I got are not worth a $7 sub. The guy is an idiot and needs to be stood up to. He is a Douchebag

LotusRapper said...

I can't believe I missed this thread in the past, but somehow found it to day as I'll be traveling out to Surrey next week and somehow I remembered LCD is out there somewhere (never been).

LCD was a regular lunch place for myself and a few colleagues for a few years back in the mid-90s, at the Kingsway location. Salam was a schtick of a guy then (sounds like nothing has changed ....) and for about $5-6 we got GINORMOUS sammies that take two, sometimes three, people to fully dust off. He had the blackboard by the door with all the sammies named after various crown corps or public agencies that patronized the deli, like BC Hydro, BC Tel, BC Ambulance, etc, etc.

I don't ever recall his "abusive schtick" being irritating, in fact that was part of his "soup nazi" charm. You need a thick (or Teflon) skin to not let his humor bother you. We saw it as entertaining and loved firing back at him. It really was an entertaining bit of a lunch hour for us. Folks who take offense at his humor need to lighten up, seriously.

I've missed Salam (love that name ..... purveyor of deli meats, and salamis notwithstanding) and his deli for 10+ years now since he closed the Kingsway store and it became another freaking Starbucks of all things. Maybe he'll remember me if I manage to get there next week ..... "NO MEATS FOR YOU !!!!", LOL :-)

Steve said...

Hey LR, I visit LCD every time I get out that way, which, unfortunately, is not often enough. Don't think much has changed over the years - the sandwiches are both huge and delicious and Salam's schtick is just as crazy as ever (ask him about the broken candle LOL!)
Sure it's not for everybody (like the anonymous poster above), but in a way, I'm kinda glad that he weeds those types out. He has a pretty large base of regular customers and it can turn in to a pretty entertaining show.
Just remember to call ahead - his schedule and hours can be unpredictable.