Panda Express

Okay, go ahead. Go right ahead and laugh. In fact, throw some tomatoes at me. Wait, save those for a nice sauce... Panda Express. Need I say more? Considered the antithesis of real Chinese food by many while ridiculed for its non-Asian staff, I personally think it is often misunderstood. You see, there is no reason to compare it with an authentic Chinese restaurant. C'mon. Really. It's North American Chinese fast food. It is what it is. If you really needed to compare with anything, you'd have to look at places such as Manchu Wok, Flaming Wok, Famous Wok and the sort. So why on Earth did I end up with Panda Express food despite the plethora of really good eats in Portland? How about visiting the food carts and my son not wanting to eat any of it. I had to practically force him to eat the fries from Potato Champion! For the love of... What kid doesn't like fries??? Thus, it forced my hand. I resorted to visiting a place which would most certainly lead to my ancestors rolling in their graves. But hold it right there. As mentioned, I don't come to Panda Express looking for a 10-course Chinese meal, unless I wanted fried meat slathered in every colour of the rainbow.

It was getting late and we pulled up and walked in. Other than the one Asian employee, we were the only Asians in the place. We ended up getting a 2-item and 3-item meal each. Viv went for steamed rice with Mushroom Chicken and Veggies. I went for the triple crown of fried with Chow Mein with Beijing Beef, Mandarin Chicken and Sweetfire Chicken. The Chow Mein was mainly for the kiddies and yup, they ate it. Well, it was Americanized chow mein, what can I say? The Beijing Beef was actually pretty decent compared to other "ginger-type" beef dishes. Large slices of meat that was not fried to a crisp combined with lots of flavour, it was alright. I wasn't so fond of their Mandarin Chicken. I've had it in the past and when done right, it's moist with a crunchy exterior laced with a sweet and tangy sauce. This time, it was dry. The Sweetfire Chicken was essentially the same with a different sauce.

On the other hand, the Mushroom Chicken was quite good. The chicken was tender and cooked right while the zucchini was still a bit firm. The Mixed Veggies were really crisp and still had life in them. Too bad that there was no flavour whatsoever. Yah, yah, I'm sure some of you are snickering at me as you read this. But once again, let's not look at this as real Chinese food. On a side note, I've had "Chinese food" that has less in common with the actual cuisine than Panda Express. I'm in no way, shape or form implying that Panda Express is something that I would frequently eat. However, in a pinch and with reasonable expectations (or low expectations), it is your typical North American Chinese food. It's too bad that they advertise it to be "gourmet" Chinese food though... Makes for an easy target to ridicule...

The Good:
- It's convenient
- If you are expecting North American Chinese food
- Inexpensive

The Bad:
- If you are expecting authentic Chinese cuisine
- Some of the stuff looks to be sitting out too long
- Lots of fried stuff with sweet and sour sauces

Alibi Room

Sunday hockey. Why did I sign up for this? Like I'm deprived of sleep enough already! Now I have to wake up early on a Sunday morning and drag my sorry ass to the ice rink. And it's summer (when I wrote this) too! Oh right, it's something called exercise and that is important for my health. Wait... Oh I remember, I know why I look forward to it every week. We go eat afterwards! Much like my other team sports, it is the perfect opportunity to hold a whole bunch of people hostage and drag them on my food adventures! Yah, I'll admit it, they are merely pawns in my sinister plan to eat my way through Vancouver. With that in mind, I merrily wake up early this Sunday and head over to the rink.

It's funny how both JuJu and RBC are completely at a loss when I can't make some games. I told them they could easily go eat without me; but for some reason or another, they prefer to have my DSLR pointed at their food. So the first thing that rolls off their tongues when I walk into the change room is: "Where are we eating today???". Interesting, they are becoming more and more like me every time. Maybe I have the power of mind-control? Nah... Really, where were we gonna eat today? I really didn't put too much thought into it to tell you the truth. Therefore, the one place that came into mind was the Alibi Room. You see, we were at Deacon's Corner the previous time, right across from the Alibi Room. So, much like last time, RBC decided to order a barley sandwich to go with his brunch. I had a much better idea, we ended up splitting the Frat Bat instead. It's a beer tasting of sorts, where you choose any 4 for $9.00. He had the Salmon Benny as his real food item. Curiously, one egg was perfectly runny, while one was almost fully cooked. Despite that, it was a solid benny with dill cream cheese, red onion, salmon and capers.

I went for the Corned Beef Hash since RBC had the eggs benny. No duplicates! Portion wise, it was pretty modest; but whatever it gave up in size, it made up with flavour. The potatoes were very well-spiced and the mix of soft cubes of corned beef, wilted spinach and red peppers was good. 2 perfectly poached eggs topped it off with a mild tasting Hollandaise. JuJu decided on the Huevos Racheros and it came nicely presented. I took a sample and I really liked the crispy tortillas. In terms of flavour, it was very mild. In fact, JuJu need to use copious amounts of Tobasco. Hmm... Tobasco and beans. I'm glad we were parting ways after the meal. Overall, the brunch was quite pleasant with a casual, lazy ambiance. Prices were on the higher side considering the portion size. Generally, the Alibi Room is more known for its late-night and dinner. So we weren't expecting much out of the brunch. It was decent; but for brunch, I personally prefer walking a block & a half up to Two Chefs & a Table instead, the food is better and costs less.

The Good:
- Casual, cool ambiance
- Decent brunch
- Love the beer selection

The Bad:
- Pricey compared to nearby joints
- Smallish portion sizes

Potato Champion

When we try to associate a food that really screams out "Canada", we often get maple syrup, salmon and to stretch it, beer. Yet, probably the one thing that is purely Canadian is Poutine. You know, crispy fries topped with cheese curds and doused with an obscene amount of powdered gravy. Specifically out of Quebec, this heart-attack on a plate is best when all of the correct components are there and of course, prepared the right way. There are many different variations to be found; but the classic is what it's all about. So imagine my curiosity when I heard that a food cart served this dish in... Portland!

Claiming to be Belgian-style Fries, I had to first try their fries with a side of chipotle mayo. In true form of double-fried fries, these were very crispy with a little bit of starchiness. We really enjoyed the mayo, it was very flavourful and spicier than others we had. The fries were so crispy, even my son had some... Imagine that, a kid that doesn't like fries... So now onto the star of the show - the Poutine. I'm so sorry to disappoint everyone; but this was a complete fail. Sure, the fries were great; but the gravy... bleck! Being an onion-based gravy with lots of pepper, it was much too strong tasting and tart/sour. Furthermore, the cheese curds were complete un-melted and gummy. Not the texture I was expecting. I know it is unfair to compare with poutine that we can get in Canada; but honestly, I have nothing to compare it with because it is rare to find it in the States in general. As for the fries, they are good and I would happily eat them again. I'll just get my poutine in Canada.

The Good:
- Crispy fries
- Inexpensive
- Good selection of dips

The Bad:
- Poutine is no good, even for Portland

Sushi Garden (Lougheed)

Talk about 2 extremes. Not far removed from the most expensive meal I've ever had at Tojo's, I find myself at the Lougheed location of Sushi Garden. Famous for their large portions at reasonable prices, this is definitely quantity over quality. Sure, it ain't Japanese-run, the food isn't exactly made carefully and the service is spotty; but for the prices, we do have to make compromises. A long time ago, Snake had introduced us to the original location on Kingsway across from Metrotown. Back then, Sushi Garden was only a small one storefront operation. Once they expanded into the next store, everything seemed to be more mass produced and hurried. Yet, I totally get it. Low prices + large quantities = lots of customers; hence quick turnover = more profits.

Replacing a former computer bookstore (I have no idea how it stayed in business for that long), the new Sushi Garden has a nice decor and pretty decent washrooms. It's really too bad that the floor looks like the aftermath of a Peter North flick. They really need to clean it! My sandals kept sticking to the tiles... ewww... Now, one of the biggest complaints about Sushi Garden is the service, or the lack of. It wasn't very busy, so for us, the service was quite friendly. However, it was still quite sparse for some apparent reason. I guess that is one thing consistent with both locations. Once again, for the prices and quantities, we must make compromises... Oh, and another compromise at this location specifically is the lack of parking spots. The main parking lot is mainly used by Staples (with more on the upper level). So there are very few spots left for Sushi Garden and Church's Fried Chicken. We were lucky to get a parking spot since it was later in the afternoon. That probably helped us avoid lining up too, as we got a table immediately. I liked how the wood banquettes looked; but honestly, provide some cushions.

We started out with some of their reasonably-priced Nigiri (Hotate, Unagi & Inari). As you can see in the picture, the portion size is large. Nothing remarkable about the nigiri while at the same time, it was solid. The sushi rice could've been better, it was dry and bland. With the same sushi rice and lacking care in its preparation, the Scallop & Tobiko Roll was okay. Same could be said about the House Roll. It was definitely huge and a good value; but little else. Rather than the usual sashimi, we got the Spicy Salmon. We liked how it was a bit sweet and spicy while not being drenched in sauce. We could still taste the salmon, which was actually pretty good. Nice crunch from the bits of cucumber too. Oh, isn't that the biggest clump of ginger you've ever seen???

Since the whole family was out today, it can only mean one thing - Tempura Udon. This is one of the few items they are willing to eat at a Japanese restaurant. The udon itself was nicely cooked with a chewy texture. The broth was weak, only exhibiting sweetness and very little else. The accompanying Tempura was not very good. With too much batter that was slightly undercooked, we didn't enjoy it so much. In fact, there was uncooked batter in a few pieces. Confusingly, the last item to arrive was the Seafood Salad (and it arrived very much later). Looks like they wanted to mass produce it since 4 orders hit the dining room at the same time. Well, that would be one reason they can charge these prices - efficiency. For the price, this was a pretty big salad with pieces of tako, salmon, tuna, ebi and imitation crab on top of a bed of iceberg lettuce. A large bowl of dressing was served on the side.

I have to admit the meal was mostly decent. Considering the portion size and low prices, there is not much to complain about, even though some of the stuff was average to below-average. The bustling sushi bar cranks out an amazing amount of food in a short amount of time. Thus, quality suffers. However, Sushi Garden, much like Sushi Town and Samurai Sushi are not about being intricate and careful. Rather, their popularity rests on being efficient, high-turnover and good value. If this is what you want, then you'll be very satisfied. If you want something with higher quality that is made with care, this is not your place.

The Good:
- Low prices
- Large portions
- Food is not bad

The Bad:
- Service is sparse
- Food is not made with care
- It'll never be confused with good Japanese food

Pine State Biscuits

For some apparent reason, I was not aware that Pine State Biscuits was featured on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. Normally, I'm all over these types of places since I do enjoy watching the show. Of course, not all the places featured are that appealing to me and in fact, some just seem downright awful. I had already pegged PSB as an eating destination since it seemed like a quick meal and something that the kiddies would enjoy munching on. It was somewhat along the way for us en route to Woodburn and a day of outlet shopping. Wait, scratch that... A day for Viv to do some shopping. I was merely a bystander. So as we rolled up to PSB, I noticed quite a few people congregating at the entrance. Soon after we lined up, 10 other people appeared behind us. Seating is at a premium, so it's best to do takeout.

Although there are a decent amount of choices on the menu, I only had one thing on my mind - The Reggie. A heart-stopping combination of fried chicken, bacon, cheese and country gravy all lovingly caressed by a flaky biscuit. I added a fried egg just to make it complete. I think this one item satisfied my caloric, fat and salt intake for the day. Oh, but it was well worth it. If I can quote Guy Fieri, "That's Money!" Look at the thing. Look at it! Isn't is a thing of beauty? The piece of fried chicken was not too dry and the crisp coating had a good amount of spice and flavour. You can't go wrong with bacon, egg and cheese, as well as the tasty and sinful gravy with bits of sausage. The biscuit was not light; but buttery, just the way I like it. I would eat this over and over again if my body could take it. Viv is not really into the country gravy thing, something to do with the lard... Wimp! So she opted for the Ham, Egg & Cheese Biscuit. Admittedly, she isn't the biggest fan of biscuits so she was not as enthused as I was. She thought that the country ham was too salty. But that is how it's supposed to be and when eaten with the rest of the components, it provided the necessary flavour. The rest of the ingredients are mild, so the extra salt is not overwhelming. If you notice from the picture, the fried egg has a perfectly runny yolk.

For the kiddies, they shared a Sausage, Egg & Cheese Biscuit. The sausage in this thing was very thick and meaty. It was more like a burger patty than anything else. Nicely spiced and served in the same fabulous biscuit, the kids didn't eat any of it. LOL. Not that it wasn't good, they just weren't in the mood I suppose.
So I gotta admit that Guy Fieri was right about this one. PSB serves up some pretty mean biscuits with killer fixin's. The Reggie is a must-try, even if you doctor told you not to. Just eat salad for a week before and after.

The Good:
- Case of do one thing and do it right
- Nothing really like it (McD's doesn't count)
- Everything is freshly made

The Bad:
- Heart-attack food
- Nowhere to really sit

Whiffies Fried Pies

If splitting an 18" pizza at Apizza Scholls wasn't enough, Viv and I headed down to Hawthorne and 12th for some food cart action. Unlike Vancouver, B.C., Portland embraces the street food concept. Yes, Vancouver is experimenting with food carts; but it has a long way to go. The one place we wanted to visit was Whiffies Fried Pies. Hey, not since the days of fried apple pies at McD's have I had one of these. Of course we'd get an Apple Pie just of ol' times sake. Since they fry 'em to order, it took a little while; yet it was oh-so-worth-it. With a filling reminiscent of McD's and a very flaky crust, the apple pie was awesome. My daughter practically ate all of it. My son... nada... It may look like a Pizza Pop, but the crust is very light and easy to eat. Either I was in denial or something; but it didn't seem oily at all. I'm sure that was an illusion, it's fried dough after all!

Like I needed anymore food, I decided to try out the Chicken Pot Pie as well. Sounded good in theory. It was like eating a pot pie with flaky pastry. There wasn't much in the way of chicken, although the few pieces in there were tender. The filling was floury thick; yet that is probably intentional to make sure it doesn't all spill out. Texture aside, the filling was conservatively seasoned, it could've been more savoury. Originally, when I brought the pies back to share with Viv, she was wondering why I had only ordered 2. Uh, cuz we were full from dinner? You see, she was expecting the BBQ Beef and Mozza Pie. We spotted someone having one and it sure looked good with cheese oozing out. Well, the very next day, we visited the food carts again and got the BBQ beef pie (and a Berry Pie as well). Okay, this is a case of something sounding and looking better than it tasted. Don't get me wrong, the fried pie was still good. However, the BBQ beef was laced with a tomato paste sauce that was weak and lacked depth. If it had been a smokier, richer BBQ sauce, this would've rocked. Still the great flaky pastry and melted mozza helped make this still very decent. Hey, not the healthiest way to eat; but I gotta say these pies hit the spot, especially the dessert ones. Really good fair food which is available year round. I'm glad that it is over 650km away for me. Otherwise, my stomach would start looking like a pie...

The Good:
- Nice flaky, non-oily pastry
- Great grab 'n go food
- Interesting fillings

The Bad:
- The savoury fillings need a little work flavourwise
- Healthy eating? Nope

Cool Moon

While we were watching the kiddies get all wet in their street clothes at the wading pool, I noticed Cool Moon nearby. Ah yes, we wanted to try this out last year. Too bad we were so overstuffed with eating. No room for it! This time around, since we were eating nearby at Piazza Italia, I made it a priority to give it a shot. After all, it was a steaming hot day, perfect for ice cream. What started off as a simple walk from dinner to get ice cream became a gong show. Once we reached Cool Moon, my daughter needed to do washroom #2. With no washroom in sight, it meant that we had to find one somewhere else. Ugh. Viv had to take her back to Piazza Italia for that. While she did that, I went about ordering my ice cream. Lots of interesting flavours. I finally settled on Thai Chili and Ginger Cookies 'n Cream. Viv thought I was nuts to pick those.

My son wanted no part in the ice cream, so it further encouraged me to try something different. A kid who doesn't want ice cream... Geez... Maybe I should've tried him with the Thai Chili? No, that would've scarred him for life. Anyways, I really liked the Thai Chili, it was spicy, sweet and nutty. Hey, like eating Thai food, except cold creamy Thai food! The other flavour, Ginger Cookies 'n Cream was also very good. I found the ginger to be a good contrast to the sweet ice cream (wasn't too sweet though). The ample nuggets of cookie were a real treat. From this one cup, I could tell that the ice cream is definitely smooth and made with care. I ended up dusting off the ice cream all-by-myself. When I met up with Viv later, she was wondering where all the ice cream went. By her initial reaction of the flavours I had chosen, I assumed she didn't want any. How wrong I was. I don't suppose they make Doghouse ice cream do they?

The Good:
- Interesting flavours
- Smooth and not too sweet
- Okay pricing

The Bad:
- Limited selection of flavours (but that is a good thing too)
- Not much in the way of seating